For me, December and sunsets have a lot in common. No matter what the day or the year has looked like, you can always count on it finishing. Many times, there are twinkling lights, bright colors and lots of shared moments with loved ones in December – but not always. There are rainy days with no sign of a colorful sunset and there are years like this one where the holidays don’t feel as magical (I mean, maybe not quite a year like this one, but you get it).
2020 has been a year with a lot of loss. Lost family members, lost friends, lost relationships, lost jobs. Celebrations have been missed, babies are growing up without meeting their extended family, businesses are closing, parents are beyond stressed, people are lonely and isolated. It’s not a normal year.
For me, I started this year so excited about beginnings. There was going to be a new place to call home, a new job, new neighbors. We thought that it would be a year to rival 2019 with adventures, beautiful scenery and incredible memories.
This hasn’t been the year anyone imagined. The pain and heartache have never felt this close, the anxiety has never felt this strong. But at the same time, the good news feels bigger and I find myself celebrating the tiniest victories. Spending an hour on FaceTime with friends has never been this rewarding. Getting a card in the mail has never felt this heartwarming. Watching a hummingbird for 20 minutes out my window has never been so entertaining. Hugging my husband has never felt so comforting. It’s as if I’m one puppy photo away from crying at all times.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the past few months being really sad about the things that didn’t happen, but just like a good sunset – my thought process is shifting. As the year comes to an end, the light is changing and I’m seeing things differently.
I’m so hopeful that it’s a sign of different times ahead. I hope the new family traditions we’ve created stick, even when things get busy again. I mean, we had a zoom call on Thanksgiving with four different timezones. We laughed and saw faces that we usually never get in the same place at the same time. I hope we make time to check in with our friends, go out of our way to support small businesses, volunteer for campaigns and causes we believe in and I definitely support continued wear of comfortable clothes all day, every day.
The United States has seen one of the most tumultuous years in history. With a contentious presidential election, a pandemic and some horrific events that led to nationwide protests for racial justice, the history books won’t glaze over the events of this year. Each one of us is responsible for the actions we’ve taken (or not taken).
But now that we are in the final month of 2020, the sunset, it’s becoming a little easier to look at the last year in a new light. We have a change in government coming in just a few weeks, generations are shifting in power, new voices are rising up and a vaccine is starting to roll out to those on the front lines. In this year where we’ve yelled, marched, voted, cried, and wondered what the fuck was going on more than ever before, there are bright spots. The twinkling lights are starting to appear and it’s easier to focus on the things I’m grateful for instead of those things I’m mourning.
If December is like the sunset, the winter months of January and February are a good night’s sleep. Enjoy the sunset, tell people how much you love them, laugh at the craziness of having Christmas via Zoom, drive around and look at Christmas lights. Then, prepare yourselves for a few months of rest, reflection and reset. It will be dark and cold and quiet, but that can be beautiful too. Stay safe, stay home. Happy almost new year.
