March 8, 2016

Finding Your Sweatpant Squad

I read this article about #squadgoals recently and it reminded me of this draft that I started over a year ago. I decided to return to it and rewrite it. The original post was the beginnings of a journey to start saying "yes" to everything and really put myself out there. I'm happy to say that I have an ending of sorts to that journey now.


Packing up your belongings and moving to a new place is stressful and frustrating, but once you get settled, things seem back to normal. At least for a little while. Eventually, you'll reach for your phone to call a friend to get happy hour and you'll realize that you live many states away and that happy hour will have to be via FaceTime.

My situation was a little less lonely than some, because I'm married, so I have a built in best friend with me in my new city. We spent weekends exploring New York City and the surrounding areas and for the first year, all seemed right. We had our close friends back home and we spoke to them as often as we could. People were planning visits and sending care packages.

Eventually, it starts to sink in. In order to make this feel like home, I needed a friend that I could call for a Tuesday night happy hour. That isn't as easy as it seems. I don't have an office filled with young professionals that want a new BFF. I don't have any acquaintances that are new to the area and looking for friends.

Instead, I have 2 dogs, a husband that isn't afraid to ask random neighbors for their phone number and a "yes" attitude. Also, patience.

The most frustrating thing is waiting. Adult friends don't happen overnight. You have to say hi to someone a few times, then comes the small talk, and then you can take the plunge and ask them to hang out. It's like dating all over again.

Now we've been here for 2 1/2 years and I'm happy to say that we have some awesome local friends.

We were able to hang out with a group of friends on Saturday. We had beers in the afternoon and then went home and ate pizza. I laughed so much that day. It seems so simple when reading it back, but I remember looking around the table a few times that day and feeling so grateful. Each time a new friend would arrive and we'd pull up a chair, it made me smile so big.

That evening, we had finished a few pizzas, popped a bottle of champagne and were beginning to debate the musical abilities of Justin Bieber - I realized that I had figured out what my "squad goals" are. Everyone is different. Mine are simple - pizza, sweat pants, pop culture debates and every couple of months - vacations with floating flamingos, 1000 piece puzzles or matching velour leggings.

While I think the word "squad" is a bit obnoxious, it is awesome knowing that I have some of the best squads in the world.

We have an amazing group of friends in Minnesota that we get to meet up with in some of the coolest places around the country (and now we've gone international as well.) These have been our best friends for years.

We also have friends here now that we can meet up with to try new restaurants, eat pizza in our sweat pants and discuss Bieber's latest single - even if it's a Tuesday.

Happy Tuesday everyone. Hug a friend today.

In related news, I saw the Bumble released a BFF section of their dating app. I'm so intrigued by this... please let me know if you've checked it out.

4 comments:

  1. I'm not the least bit surprised you were able to find a solid group of friends in the city. If I didn't know it beforehand, after finally meeting you, it's so obvious what a genuinely caring and friendly person you are!! There aren't many people that would trek into the city to meet a random girl and talk with her for hours when she's there all alone :) Your NYC/NJ friends are SO lucky to have you!!!

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  2. Love this post. Making adult friends does take a lot longer, doesn't it?

    We too are blessed with friends we've had for many years and newer friends we've picked up along the way. I am grateful for all of them and how solid they are.

    Glad you went back to finish this one!

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  3. this is awesome! i'm so glad you were able to make some great friends. i agree about the word squad being obnoxious, and they can keep their floating flamingos.. i am definitely more about the sweatpants, or just having people that understand you. it really is like dating again. hmm i might have to check that bumble bff app out.. i have 3 friends here, 2 that i can really rely on, but not really hang out on a tuesday, eat pizza and talk about justin bieber.

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Thanks for reading my ramblings. It makes my heart happy.