I recently read a study that came out that said many Americans couldn’t pick their next door neighbor out of a police line up.  What does that say about the word “community”?

I guess that doesn’t really surprise me.  People are stuck behind phones, iPads, computers and they stop paying attention to the things happening around them.  Everyone is freaked out by the recent dateline story and they’ve checked the sex offender website more than once in the last month.

In St. Paul, we knew many of our neighbors.  We grabbed mail when people were out of town, shoveled sidewalks if we were the first ones outside after a heavy snow and dropped off baked goods on random Saturday afternoons.

We are still trying to navigate that neighbor thing in our new home.  We’ve made some great friends with neighbors here since we moved.  The sad thing is that they are now moving out.  Apartments have such quick turnover compared to neighborhoods with single family homes.  Every week, there is a moving truck outside.

We have a dog park which has been the best place to connect with dog loving neighbors.  We have neighborhood events which can be a little too awkward and forced.  We make eye contact near the mailboxes and wave to the people we recognize walking to and from the parking garage.

Then last night, one of the lovely men that lives in our complex decided that he didn’t like where J parked in the garage and thought that swearing at him and yelling was the neighborly thing to do.  I watched it all happen.  The guy had to walk to the other garage door because of construction material being in the walkway.  It wasn’t Justin’s fault at all, but he got so angry about an extra 60 paces that he had to call him an effing asshole.

Deep sigh.  

That kind of moment makes me not want to know my neighbors.

That’s not an option.  One guy can’t ruin my outlook, so I have to move on.  I have to smile at him the next time I see him.  He has his own battles and stories that I know nothing about, so I won’t let him crap on mine.

Instead, I’ll just go play with Wally (the puppy across the street), joke with the doorman and maybe leave some candy in the Halloween bowl downstairs.  I’ll keep being the best neighbor I can be.  Maybe I’ll even take a bottle of wine down the hall after work today and have a drink with one of my favorite neighbors.

Do you know your neighbors?

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